so i dont forget - whole wheat chocolate chip cookies
Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies

Prep Time: 30 min
Total Time: 40 min
Makes: 3 dozen cookies
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3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
2 cups Gold Medal® whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 package (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups)

1. Heat oven to 375ºF.
2. Mix sugars, butter, vanilla and egg in large bowl. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt (dough will be stiff). Stir in chocolate chips. Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until light brown (centers will be soft). Cool slightly; remove from cookie sheet. Cool on wire rack.

from a betty crocker recipe site i think it is. i lost my cookbook i compiled, which had my marha stewart recipe - with all the add ins, and the other recipe that i loved....

i just made this and it's lovely. love that it uses whole wheat flour.
additions or alterations i made: added about a cup of finely diced walnuts, reduced butter to 3/4 c and added about 1/2 c peanut butter, and reduced flour to 1 1/2 cup and added 1/2 c cocoa powder.

as the batter is dark dont wait for the cookies to brown. take them out at about 7 minutes, when youthkink they arent totally done, but might be.

today's poem
How Many Nights
by Galway Kinnell

How many nights
have I lain in terror,
O Creator Spirit, maker of night and day,

only to walk out
the next morning over the frozen world,
hearing under the creaking snow
faint, peaceful breaths...
bear, earthworm, ant...

and above me
a wild crow crying 'yaw, yaw, yaw'
from a branch nothing cried from ever in my life.

"How Many Nights" by Galway Kinnell, from Three Books. © Houghton Mifflin, 2002. Reprinted with permission. (buy now)

monday monday
monday begins the fall semester and i am back at work three days a week. i already dreading it.
i have been home all this summer with the baby. it's taken a lot of adjusting to, but i have loved it. and i feel like i'm missing something.
there's a line in our town, where emily asks the angel that she goes back to view her last day with, do they ever get it? do they ever realize how beautiful it is? and the angel says some do. poets and dreamers mostly.
and i'm feelng kind of that way right now. i'm afraid that if i'm away from the baby, i'm going to miss something...

drs appt tomorrow for her for a suspected ear infection. likely going to be referred to an ent for tubes for her.

watched enchanted tonight. cute. disney does have a sense of humor.

must go. baby fussy and crying. a t half past midnight. again.

i dont know what it is,.
i hated the twilight books. terrible writing. awful. barely mediocre at best. (I kow people will hate me for this)
but the trailer for the next movie looks really good.

she has good stories but she can't write...

and bella is so helpless and anti fem it's annoying...

song tonight - or they were until i lost track of my trainof thought.
music plays a huge part of my life. its almost always going in the house. it places me where i was smeplace, it helps me write. it soothes me and it has in turn soothed my daughter.
so today here is a play list from what is moving me right now.. sacred harp music - i'm going home. go do some research on it. the arm waving is the primitive form of conducting. cold mountain also had this song in it and on the soundtrack. - the baby's new lullabye. from the sound of music. and although it's sung between two people in love, it's also a prayer kind of. a prayer of thankfulness i think. and i think and pray that prayer everytime i look at my daughter. - you'll love it.

i had a whole list of other songs i was going to put up here. but the baby turned off the computer. so i lost my train of thought and the music list.

love is at his final class for the session. he starts again in a couple weeks. then after fall term he's off to student teaching.

writing. having fun with it.

(no subject)
have little to say.

just tired. cranky. cant sleep.

more to get into but i'm tired and i'm hoping its going to be soon that i sleep. heaven knows i'll have to be up in like five freaking hours.

languages i want to learn
re-learn spanish
welsh - maybe
and any number of Native American Languages.

am listening to there can be miracles from prince of egypt and aside from moving my soul every time i hear this song... i just get chills whenever i hear the hebrew sung. i have sung in it once and i loved it. there is something about the sounds that just gives me chills. think of it - this is the langauage of Christ. Christ was Jewish. He would have spoken Hebrew at least a little.

i am trying to relearn spanish. i need to get back to watching the gaelic videos and working on that.

and of course ASL.

This is another reason I want to either Homeschool, charter school, private school or do supplemental school. I want to really focus on Molly learning another language at least one. and i want to do it early. the schools here do it too late.

repeating my mantra
today i am repeating my mantra a lot.

i will get my body back, better than what it was before. i beat anorexia, i can beat the baby weight. i can give up ice cream and i'll be fine.
i will become a published and well respected author/novelist. i only need one agent to believe in me and the book and my future. i will do this.

those are my mantras goals i keepo repeating to myself.
i decided i want the fiona body from burn notice. i know, laugh... but, i want to at least not be always hiding from the camera... i want to not be afraid of when i have to be seen by others. i know i'm not terrible, but i know i'm not where i need to be. so i am constantly recommitting myself to gettiing back in shape, and keeping motivated...

and i'm not giving up on writing. i can't. i am goingto keep looking for an agent until i find one. i only need one.

we will find a job for rylan when he gets his certification. and we will be guided by the spirit as to what to do.

those are my daily affirmations.
but mostly toda - i will get my body back. i will get my awesome body back. i will become a great writer. i will get an agent and sell this book and be well on my way to finishing the second and then on to the others....

i'm good enoug, i'm smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.

Writer's Block: Mentor Me
yes i did. my thesis advisor, my mentor in grad school... i still think about him and all that i learned from him...when the book is published he gets one of the first copies.

Have you ever had a mentor or other influential person in your life who helped you along a certain path in school, work, or life in general?

music to write by
emily jane white - sleeping dead (dark undercoat album)
hush little baby - the horseflies
you will be my ain true love
jolene - mindy smith and dolly parton
almost anything by the innocence mission
wildlife - by the phoenix foundation
extraordinary machine - fiona apple

this is more for my own information but yeah. i believe in music writing. picking a song or a genre of songs or a group of songs and using them and seeing where it goes. sleeping dead, jolene, and the horseflies i think gel well together..

next ideas:

postal service - brand new colony
moby - when it's cold i'd like to die
fiona apple - just about anything.



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